A Note
my word of the year for 2026
Hello, from my favorite little local coffee shop / yoga studio that just happens to be about a five minute drive from my house. Since I truly need to sleep tonight, I decided to skip coffee in favor of water. Caffeine and I aren’t getting along as well as we used to.
I almost feel like I should reintroduce myself—Hi, I’m Deb!—on my first week back in your inbox after an unexpectedly long break. In mid-December, my dad had surgery to replace his knee. The procedure went well; recovery, though, was brutal for the first couple of weeks. Jerry and I live about ten minutes from my parents, and we linked arms with our kids and grandkids to help as best we could.
Twelve days after the surgery, my sister Amy and her husband Vinnie drove out from their home in Connecticut to celebrate Christmas week with us. We gathered for a pizza-and-football party at my parents’ house that first evening, and as I looked around the room at four generations of our family enjoying dinner and the Patriots game, I felt so grateful I nearly cried.
I love gathering with our people. Our week together was full and busy—and Christmas looked a bit different this year, but we were all together. And that matters to me.
Early last Monday morning, after Amy and Vinnie left to begin their drive home and Jerry headed out to play pickleball, I found myself alone in our family room. The only light came from our Christmas tree.
Sipping a cup of coffee, I sat in the hush for nearly an hour.
When I uncurled my legs and stood up, I felt more grounded, more settled. It was as though my head and my heart knew exactly what I needed to recenter that morning.
“This,” I thought to myself. “I want more of this.”
For the past several years, I’ve chosen a word of the year that serves as a north star of sorts, a reminder of how I want to feel as I walk through the year.
For 2026, I chose the word, “steady”.
This year, I want to practice steadiness. I don’t want small things—or even big things—to throw me for a loop. And when I wobble, as I know I will (and as I already have, merely eight days into the new year) I want to practice finding solid ground again.
I want to practice steadiness in my roles as a wife, as a mom to my young adult kids, as a nana and a daughter, a sister and a friend.
I want to practice steadiness in my work as a writer and a coach.
I want to practice steadiness in challenging conversations, unexpected developments, and unplanned schedule changes.
Tucked behind these questions is one more, a bit quieter in my mind than the others: How could I have better practiced steadiness when our marriage was in crisis years ago? What have I learned about steadiness since then, and what am I continuing to learn, that might help others experiencing their own crises today?1
Steady.
I expect several of my core habits and rhythms to support my pursuit of steadiness: journaling, spending time outside, reading, walking, and yoga. I’m curious, also, to see what I’ll add to this list as I walk through 2026.
It feels good to return to a regular writing rhythm here on Substack, friends. I’ll be back next Thursday with a new letter. Speaking of which…if there’s anything specific you’d like me to write about, I’m always open to your suggestions! Feel free to leave a comment, or send me a private message.
Have a great rest of the week, and a good weekend.
Warmly,
Deb
…which reminds me: beginning on January 12, 2026, I’m hosting a book study of The Fight for Us: Overcome What Divides to Build a Marriage that Thrives by Rebekah and Gabe Lyons.
We’ll gather 3 or 4 times over Zoom between January and March to talk about the topics covered in each chapter of The Fight for Us.
Several of you responded to a poll a few weeks ago indicating that you were interested in joining in this book study—but because the poll was anonymous, I have no way of knowing who you are!
So..if you would like to join us, could you please either send me a message here…
…or, if you’d prefer, email me at deborahscottalexander@gmail.com 🤍